i sat out by the lake (lake monroe) for a while trying to scare the alligators... it makes me feel powerful. the fish were jumping to catch a glimpse of the storm rumbling toward us. an osprey caught one and perched on a light post. some fisherman with lighted lures cast them a little too close to the infant gator i was intimidating and it lowered its head to a safe depth. i pretended that the two red bobbing lures were the unattached eyes of the mother of the gator, learing at me, one floating toward me in threat the other away from me because it, too, feared me. but it only made me afraid. oversized ants at my feet were scrambling, bumping off of eachother, maybe trying to ground out the static in the air that was chasing them. my face tingled. my sweater (i felt cold when i left the house even though it's ninety degrees) itched and clung to me. i stood to watch lightning hit the power plant across the lake. the smoke from the one remaining candy cane stack (three was too much for our lungs and the atmosphere, the city said) turned pink for a second.
a car swerved to miss me as i crossed the street back to my development. tommy passed me, standing in the back of a pick-up truck, holding onto the top of the cab and said, 'what's up, dude?" i said, 'yeah.' i felt like smoking a cigarette but i didn't. a crane flew over me and toward the storm while i walked away from it. i was so menacing when i left the apartment but climbing the steps back to it, i almost ran.